All the rules » Relationship

9 Rules For Riding The Tricycle by Barney Stinson

admin — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 21:52:44 +0000

How to ride the tricycle by Barney Stinson from How I met your mother.

1. The aggregate age of all three participants shall not exceed eighty-three years

2. The aggregate weight of all three participants shall be less than 400 pounds/181.44 kg

3. No money or other considerations may be exchanged for services rendered

4. Pregnant women shall consult with their physician before riding the tricycle

5. No wheel of the tricycle shall be within three branches of another’s family tree

6. No black-soled sneakers

7. Female participants shall refrain from destroying the illusion that this is new to them

8. Kitchen appliances and other electrical devices are strictly forbidden

9. Participants must shower before riding the tricycle, and definitely after

6 Rules of Breaking Up

admin — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:28:36 +0000

How to break up easily

One of the hardest thing in our life is breaking up, ending of relationships. It’s almost always hard. You are going to hurt your lover’s heart. How to do it right and easy as possible?

1. Know the answers why you want to break up

You decided to break up. Why? Find the reasons. Think do you can fix that? No? Ok. Know the answers. Because your partner will ask you why.

2. Decide how long you are going to talk

The last talk always is difficult. It can last for hours. And it will be too hard for you and your partner. Decide before the talk how long it will last. If you know, that you couldn’t stop the talk by yourself help yourself, arrange an appointment with a friend. And when you think that it’s time to leave say that you can stay your friend are waiting for you.

3. Do it in person

Don’t be coward. It is difficult to say that you are breaking up looking in the eyes. But you must do it in person. Be courage. Finish it. Don’t give an illusion of hope.

4. Talk only in private

Public is inadmissible. Do not make a show. It’s hard. No one wants to be broken up with in public or near family and friends

5. Be calm

It isn’t easy, but try to be cool. Try to avoid phrase “We need to talk”. It’s a signal of difficult talk. Do not break up during the quarrel. Do it calmly and peacefully. Do your best to reduce harm as much as possible.

6. Fade away

For the first time you must distance yourself. Don’t call, don’t go places where you can come across with you ex-lover. Take the time.

The Playbook. 9 Rules to Pick Up Girls by Barney Stinson

admin — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:16:22 +0000

How to pick up chicks.

“The Playbook” is a new book by fictional character Barney Stinson from “How I Met Your Mother”. “The Playbook” contains every scam, con, hustle, hoodwink, gambit, flimflam, stratagem and bamboozle Barney ever used — or ever hopes to use — to pick up chicks and give them the business.

1. “The Don’t Drink That”

Location: Bar

Action: Run to the girl, grasp her by the hand.

Dialogue:

You Whoa, don’t drink that. I saw some guy slip something in there.

Girl What? Who?

You Uh… that guy.

Girl Thank You.

2. “The Mrs. Stinsfire”

Location: Girl’s dorm

Action: Make up like Robin Williams in “Mrs. Doubtfire” from Chris Columbus’ movie.

Dialogue:

Girl Now Kappas, after our disciplinary hearing for lewd behavior last semester, we have been signed a new housemom. I’d like You to meet Mrs. Stinsfire.

You Hello, girls!

3. “The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn”

Location: Bar

Action: To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here’s what You’ll need: Basic knowledge of Web site design and a very unique fake name. So, think of Your fake name right now. Have You got it? Good.

Now, select Your target. Preferably a girl with a real ni… phone.

Dialogue:

You Yeah, it’s me.

Girl Do I know You?

You I’m Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.

Girl Are You, like, famous or something?

You Yes. What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet You…

Girl Shelly.

You Shelly. Once again, I’m Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds two “T”s. Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Ciao.

Then, as soon as You’re gone, she gets out her phone and does an Internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that’s when she discovers. A series of fake Web sites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There’s the fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake Explorers Club newsletter describing his balloon trek to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring the heartbreaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn’t an option. And by the time You get back.

You Hi, Shelly, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy You a cup of coffee?

Girl Yes! Please.

You What does coffee go for these days, $50?

Girl Oh, Lorenzo.

And it is on.

4. “The SNASA”

Location: Bar

Action: Talking about secret NASA

Dialogue:

Girl Wow, You’re an astronaut?

You Shh! I’m actually in a top secret government space program called Secret NASA or SNASA.

Girl Wow, SNASA.

You Mm-mm.

Girl Do You go to the Moon and stuff?

You Well, not the Moon You’re familiar with, though I have been to the Smoon.

Girl Wow, the Smoon.

5. “The Cheap Trick”

Location: Bar

Action: Create an image of musician of rock or metal band

Dialogue:

You I’m the bass player for “Cheap Trick”.

6.“The He’s Not Coming”

Location: The observation deck of the Empire State Building

Action: To perform “The He’s Not Coming” here’s what You’ll need: The observation deck of the Empire State Building. Are You there? Good. For generations, this has been the spot New Yorkers have chosen for their romantic reunions with long-estranged lovers, so all You have to do is walk up to every girl You see and say… “He’s not coming”.

Dialogue:

You He’s not coming.

Girl He’s not? But we agreed. We always said we’d meet here. On this night. I’m such a fool.

You Shh, shh, shh…

7. “The Ted Mosby”

Location: Bar

Action: Dress up like Ted Mosby and say how You got left at the altar

Dialogue:

You I got left at the altar.

8. “The My Penis Grants Wishes”

Location: Bar

Action: Dress up like Alladin or lamp.

Dialogue:

Girl Really? A genie comes of it?

You Only if You rub it hard enough.

9. “The Scuba Diver”

Location: Bar

Action: Step one: tell a meddlesome female friend about “The Playbook”. Run play on one of her coworkers, king her so angry. She steals “the Playbook”.

Put on a scuba suit and tell her You’re going to do one more scam called “The Scuba Diver” on the hot girl standing by the bar.

Your friend — let’s call her Lily — goes and talks to the girl and tells her everything about “The Playbook”. Now, here’s where it gets tricky. When Lily and the girl ask at “The Scuba Diver” is, about Your deep-seated insecurities which don’t really exist because — let’s face it — You’re awesome. Feeling bad for You, Lily talks You up to the girl, who then agrees to go get coffee with You.

And it… is… on.

3 Gremlin’s Rules in Relationship with Girls

admin — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:45:19 +0000

How keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend.

In “How I met your mother” Barney Stinson teaches Ted Mosby how keep a girl from becoming girlfriend. It’s very simple. The rules for girls are the same as gremlins.

1. Never get them wet

In otherwards, don’t let her take a shower in your place.

2. Keep them away from sunlight

Don’t ever see them during the day.

3. Never feed them after midnight

Meaning she doesn’t sleep over and you don’t have breakfast with her, ever.

New To Swinging? Tips for Couples Dating?

admin — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:05:18 +0000

Rules of Swinging.

There are many reasons to try swinging. One of the essential is variety in your sexual life which is important to your relationship.

Couples dating isn´t your everyday decision. In order to branch out and share yourselves with others, your own relationship needs to be examined before adding a new dynamic. If you are new to the swinging lifestyle and unsure of where to start, this is the time to look inside the dynamics of your relationship with your mate and determine: Do we have the essential elements needed to make an open relationship viable?

Your best bet is to sit down with each other and have an open dialogue about your feelings, boundaries and worries. For more information, visit our website today: www.lifestylelounge.com

If you are ready to try new thing in your sexual life seek for swing club in your city. But take your time. Do not choose the first club you’ll find. Gather information about it, be sure that this club has good reputation. If you live in Massachusetts you may be sure about this boston swingers club.

4 Rules of Having Great Sex

admin — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 21:41:24 +0000

How to derive unforgettable enjoyment from sex

Sex is a big part of our life. It is almost forbidden to discuss in our everyday life. But luckily we have internet and can sharing our knowledge. All you need to know to have sex is recorded in your DNA. But there are some things that nature not recorded yet. You can have good sex without reading and seeking new information. And you can have a great sex just following some rules.

1. Share fantasies with your partner

Do not be shy. She or he is your special someone, your second part. Tell what do you want to do or to receive. Do you want be cruel? Do you want use Adult Toys? See your partner wearing some of Sexy Costumes? Tell it. Enjoy it. Listen to your partner may be you have the same dream.

2. Change roles in bed

You are always controlling situation? Are you leader in the relationships? Try something new. Relinquish all control. Or other way: if you are play second role pick up the leadership in your hands.

3. Try Adult Toys

Really. Sex like any other action can bore you. The same things repeat and repeat. Without new ideas all happiness from sex can disappear. Diversify your life in bed. Buy sex toy. Yes it is uneasy to go to sex shop and buy something there. Make an order online! Choose something interesting, take counsel with your partner, find good online store like Erototoys which propose more than 10 000 products, free shipping with every $50 order deal. And the most important you can return your purchase during 90 day!

4. Love each other

This is the most important rule. When you have sex with someone you love it is always great sex.
Make love, not war!

150 Rules of Being Bro (part V)

admin — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 22:24:35 +0000

How to be a Bro by “The Bro Code” written by Barney Stinson of the How I Met Your Mother

Article 121: Even if he’s never skied before, a Bro doesn’t trifle with the bunny slope.

Article 122: A Bro is always psyched. Always.

Article 123: Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from "Beat It" which, I guess, two Bros shouldn’t do anyway, or at least not very often.

Article 124: If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Bowling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.

Article 125: If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro Train, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.

Article 126: In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

Article 127: A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous night, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro repeatedly saying "I love you, man" to all his Bros.

Article 128: A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, its preffered that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this code…half naked from the waist up, naturally.

Article 129: If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

Article 130: If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.

Article 131: While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car’s ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he’ll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.

Article 132: If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancée and results in a "no sex" penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ

Article 133: A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.

Article 134: A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman

Article 135: If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copilot:
(1) foot race to the car,
(2) silent auction or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles,
(3) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.

Article 136: When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than an uninterested "It was okay"

Article 137: When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros

Article 138: A real Bro doesn’t laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin.
Exception: Unless he doesn’t know the guy.

Article 139: Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, "Broadway" begins with "Bro"

Article 140: A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date. (Lemon Law)

Article 141: A Bro can only get a manicure if
(a) he’s trying to sleep with the hot Asian woman performing the manicure, or
(b) it’s been longer than a month since his last manicure.
Its called the Bro Code, not the slob Code.

Article 142: A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.

Article 143: When executing a high five a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers of grasping his Bro’s hand

Article 144: It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it’s still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoon-age by arm wrestling to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.

Article 145: A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion

Article 146: A Bro refrains from using too much detain when relating sexual exploits to his Bros

Article 147: If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro’s back
Exception: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy.
Exception: If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week.
Exception: If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody’s back.

Article 148: A Bro doesn’t listen to chick music…in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyches, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.

Article 149: A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars

Article 150: No sex with you Bro’s ex. EVER!

150 Rules of Being Bro (part IV)

admin — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:21:25 +0000

How to be a Bro by “The Bro Code” written by Barney Stinson of the How I Met Your Mother

Article 91: If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname, they shall rally to call him by an adjacent yet more demeaning nickname

Article 92: A Bro keeps his booty calls at a safe distance

Article 93: Bros don’t speak French to one another

Article 94: If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees

Article 95: A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally. (The shoes tap, The eye redirect, The swift shin kick *D cups and up only, please*)

Article 96: Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire

Article 97: Where a Bro went to college is going to kick his Bro’s college’s ass all over the field this weekend

Article 98: A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event

Article 99: A Bro never asks for directions when lost
Exception: A Bro may as for directions for a hot chick who seems to know the area
Exception: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost
Exception: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he is not lost at all.

Article 100: When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.
Corollary: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he’s not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.

Article 101: If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave* This is what makes them Bros, not chicks. *And beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death.

Article 102: A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.

Article 103: A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgear plan and sticks with it.

Article 104: The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom of a Bro is fair game if she initiates and /or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing…provided she looks good in it…but not if she smokes menthol cigarettes

Article 105: If a Bro is not invited to another Bro’s wedding, he doesn’t make a big deal out of it, even if, let’s face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. It’s cool. No big whoop.

Article 106: Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night

Article 107: A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging

Article 108: If a Bro forgets a guy’s name he may call him "brah", "dude", or "man" but never "Bro"

Article 109: When Bros attend a sporting event and see themselves on the JumboTron, they shall purse their lips and flex their biceps while informing the crowd that their team is number one, despite any objective rankings to the contrary.

Article 110: If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome

Article 111: If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random contacts and then deleting all sent messages. It’s called a Termination in Bro-speak

Article 112: A Bro doesn’t sing along to music in a bar.
Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke
Exception to exception: No chick songs

Article 113: A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick

Acceptable age difference formula

Chick’s age = Guy’s age divided by 2, + 7

Article 114: If a Bro must crash on his Bro’s couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall sheam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable

Article 115: A "clothing optional" beach doesn’t really mean "clothing optional" for Bros

Article 116: A Bro shall not kill another Bro or a Bro’s chances to score with a chick

Article 117: A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fools errand of getting up to manually change the channel

Article 118: When a Bro is with his Bros he is not a vegetarian

Article 119: When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to put his arm around another Bro to increase space. Likewise, it is unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is equipped with a sidecar…a Brotorcycle

Article 120: A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name

150 Rules of Being Bro (part III)

admin — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:44:12 +0000

How to be a Bro by “The Bro Code” written by Barney Stinson of the How I Met Your Mother

Article 61: If a Bro for whatever reason becomes aware of another Bro’s anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

Article 62: In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.
*Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.

Article 63: A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with protection.

Article 64: A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the latter Bro’s favourite sports team in a playoff scenario.

Article 65: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros.

Article 66: If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a ‘that sucks, man’ and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

Article 67: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

Article 68: If a Bro be on hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic fear that the end of the world is imminent. (Dry spell trumps hot streak)

Article 69: Duh.

Article 70: A Bro will drive another Bro to the airport or pick him up, but never both for the same trip. He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro’s trip or general well-being.

Article 71: As a courtesy to Bros the world over, a Bro never brings more than two other Bros to a party.

Article 72: A Bro never spell-checks.

Article 73: When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather that enormously relieved.

Article 74: At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumper of the car infront of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. That way if another Bro is several cars behind, he’ll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.

Article 75: A Bro automatically enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him to a chick.

Article 76: If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say "I love you" he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic Barry White-esque tone

Article 77: Bros don’t cuddle

Article 78: A Bro shall never rack jack his wingman

Article 79: At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with the garter shall lightheartedly pretend he’s not horrified at the thought of being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff drink and/or shots.

Article 80: A bro shall make every effort to aid another Bro in riding the tricycle, short of completing the tricycle himself.

Article 81: A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.

Article 82: If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or apologize to make amends. That’s inhuman.

Article 83: A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever “love” thy neighbor. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically with a co-worker.

Article 84: Bro shall stop whatever he’s doing and watch Die Hard if it’s on TV.

Article 85: If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.

Article 86: When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.

Article 87: A Bro never questions another Bro’s stated golf score, maximum bench press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.

Article 88: If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro’s car, he shall not adjust the pre-programmed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position, even if this last requirement results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as a giant praying mantis would.

Article 89: A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.

Article 90: A Bro shows up at another Bro’s party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six pack, he shall bring a six pack plus at least one can of beer. If the party sucks and/or there are too many dudes, the Bro is entitled to leave with his alcohol, though etiquette dictates he should wait until nobody is looking.

150 Rules of Being Bro (part II)

admin — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:10:37 +0000

How to be a Bro by “The Bro Code” written by Barney Stinson of the How I Met Your Mother

Article 31: When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know

Article 32: A Bro doesn’t allow another Bro to get married until he’s at least thirty.

Article 33: When in a public restroom, a Bro
(1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal;
(2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks’ restroom?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and
(3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball…rebounding is optional.

Article 34: Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil’s Three Way.

Article 35: A Bro never rents a chick flick.

Article 36: When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.

Article 37: A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly they’re not that heavy.

Article 38: Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.

Article 40: Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as "a bachelor party."

Article 41: A Bro never cries
Exceptions: Watching Field of Dreams, ET or a sports legend retire (only first time he retires)

Article 42: Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a full embrace.

Article 43: A Bro loves his country.

Article 44: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.

Article 45: A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club.

Article 46: If a Bro is seated next to some dude who’s stuck in the middle seat on an airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unless the dude has
(a) taken his shoes off,
(b) is snoring,
(c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory, or
(d) purchased headphones after they announced the in-flight movie is 27 Dresses. See Article 35.

Article 47: A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe

Article 48: A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he’s banged.

Article 49: When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I got it," whether or not he’s actually got it.

Article 50: If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro’s undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.

Article 51: A Bro checks out another Bro’s blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down

Article 52: A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every now and again probably wouldn’t kill him.

Article 53: Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice

Article 54: A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Paddy’s Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13th)

Article 55: Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.

Article 56: A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/chick Ration at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

Article 57: A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.

Article 58: A Bro doesn’t grow a mustache (Exception Tom Selleck)

Article 59: A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it’s out of state or, like, crazy expensive [Crazy expensive bail > (years you've been bros) x $100]

Article 60: A Bro shall honor their father and mother, for they were once Bro and chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.